Blondes Have More Fun

Britney and K-Fed, resting after a long day at the salon, discuss their ex-children who have been removed by Social Services. "I miss the little eggheads", sighs Britney.




She decides to give parenting another shot. She calls the Cyberian adoption agency, since they've given out kids to Tom like Halloween candy. Surely they'll give a few to her and the newly coiffed K-Fed! She points out that she's no longer blonde, so they can rest assured she'll be a lot smarter about her choices.




They are not buying it.




She knows that inviting Paris over will cheer her up. Paris, in her terminal blondeness, does not disappoint.




But the party's over when Karl shows up, convinced that it was Britney who caused a satellite to fall on his wife, the Contessa. He's out for blood (what else is new, the guy's a vampire!) and he's brought reinforcements. "Being a brunette is HARD!" thinks Britney.

Dance Dance Revulsion

Over at Tyra's, there's a party going on and Li-Lo is getting down with her bad self. Sans clothing. Tom doesn't seem to notice.


She gets into the hot tub, where Laci Dancer is revolted by the nakedness. "I can see what you had for breakfast!", exclaims Laci. Tom loves a good catfight. Having changed into his work clothes, he quips: "Want fries with that?"


Li-Lo shoots back that Laci is just jealous. "Yeah, well you're flat as a pancake!", she shreiks. Laci points out that at least she has the good sense to be pixilated.


Tyra has had enough and slips into something a little more slutty...


...and dreams of the only person who brings her true happiness.

Look Up, Look Down...hey Satellite

Karl, vampire-about-town, invites a few gal pals over for Mac 'n Cheese. His wife, the Contessa is not pleased.


And when Karl's attention turns heavily towards Hilly...


...things turn ugly.


Just as Karl is beginning to wonder why he ever got married, a SATELLITE crashes through the roof and onto the Contessa!!


"She's very dead." sighs the Grim Reaper. "People come and go so quickly around here!" shrieks Britney. Karl tries to look upset.


Hilly comforts him in his time of need.


Britney cannot believe her eyes. "Don't worry honey," growls Karl. "There's plenty of this bad boy to go around."


The girls depart, and Karl commemorates his countess by cleaning the counter. Something tells me Karl's social life is going to be picking up...

The Morning After

After a late night at Radio City Music Hall, Paris gets herself out of bed...


...and hits the outdoor Starbucks in Cyberia.


The coffee bar isn't the only thing she hits! Spotting Li-Lo, she can't help herself and flings a water balloon at the unsuspecting starlet.


"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm still upset about being the object of ridicule at the MTV Video Awards last night!", she pleads. As much as she hates Lindsey, she's running short of friends.


In a rare moment of brillance, Paris realizes the the way to gain Li-Lo's forgiveness is through a brewski. Even at 10 AM.