The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Having gotten trashed at Tomkat's wedding, Lindsey brings one of the caterers home for a roll in the hay.


Unfortunately, he gives her more than just his recipe for tiramisu.


The next morning, Lindsey reflects on her lack of good judgment.


Katie comes over for a little girl-talk, and Lindsey assures her that she'll only have safe sex from now on. Katie is skeptical, but then again she doesn't know much about sex.


Lindsey invites some friends over, and quickly winds up in a wild makeout session with Dave Utenzi.


Katie sees where this is going, and discreetly pulls Lindsey out of harm's way. "Li-Lo? Your mom's on the phone. She wants to tell you about this great tiramisu recipe she just got from a 'friend'."


The guests leave and Lindsey sneaks a bite of a ham sandwich...


...but quickly gets rid of it.


She stays up all night IMing with Dave.


Before she knows it, she's three hours late for work. "Oh well! At least I'm not hung over!"

Risky Business

Zombie Katie puts Tom on the hot seat, asking him to tell her the truth about Suri. Did they have a baby or not??


Tom isn't quite the actor he thought he was!


He knows he has to act fast, and calls for help.


"One baby, coming right up!"


The baby-lady leaves the little Suri-imposter on the lawn, hoping she's not going to have to come back and rescue this one.


When Tom tells Katie the good news, that she actually *did* give birth, she is ecstatic!


She cannot believe her good fortune. She really, really does have a little bundle of flour to call her own! "Er, Kate? Over here..."


Almost immediately, Tom makes an honest zombie out of her.


As they toast the happy couple, Funky remembers the days when Tom was just a regular guy.


Tyra is just happy to be wearing J-Lo's dress.


Katie rushes to the computer to email Page Six, telling them to pop by for photos of Suri any time. Never one to miss a good party, a naked Lindsey heads back to the bathroom to vomit again.

Britney's Breakdown

Britney is still upset over losing her rugrats to Social Services. "I didn't do anything wrong! We're COUNTRY!"


She is sure that it was Zombie Katie, freaked out over her own pseudo-baby drama, that made the phone call.


K-Fed tries to console her. "But it's so much more fun without them!"


Tyra and Paris try to come up with a plan to help Britney through this tough time.


They suggest that she get dressed and go talk to the Social Services people, to convince them that she is "America's Next Top Mommy."


After changing into something, er, a little more trampy, she mistakes Paris for Madonna and tries to plant one on her. "I'm giving up sex for a year!" shrieks Paris. Don't you read "People"?


Mortified, she tries to blame her bizarre behavior on Tyra.


And takes her down.


Already out of control, she downs a bottle of "Curious" and heads off to find her kids.

The Vamp and the Vampire

Hilly Snackie, an icon in the vampire fashion world, has moved in with Robin "Funky" Bug...reknowned handbag heiress. But Hilly misses her ex-roommate Karl and invites him over for a Bloody Mary...


...and an erotic pillow fight. Karl is still married to the Contessa, but finds himself drawn to Hilly. He stays quite late and drinks more than he should.


Hilly mops up as a result, and Funky wonders what she sees in the guy.


Just as the girls are getting ready for bed, the doorbell rings.


K-Fed has dropped by, sick of his wife's whining, offering Funky several thousand dollars to hide out for a few days.


Funky tells him to get lost and has an inexplicable urge to wash up after he's gone.

Bea Sting

Lu has reached that magical age of "teenager", so you know what that means, right?
That means Melodyann is also a teenager.
Since receiving Joe's life insurance policy, Nicole hasn't been able to get his suicide off her mind. She hires a private investigator to get to the bottom of his death. Within days, the investigator lets her in on our little secret. Joe discovered the baby swap that took place between Nicole and Kris. Rather than break his wife's heart, he went belly up in the pool. Nicole knows she cannot keep this secret, nor will she let it take her to the grave. She rushes to Kris' house and explains the windfall revelation.
Kris decides there's only one thing for them to do. Since they have raised each others' daughters for all these years, there's no WAY thet're swapping back now. But they also want to be a part of their natural daughters' lives. Kris finally extends the olive branch, and the girls agree that Nicole and Mel should move back into the Bea house.

Lu and Mel take time to process the information. They talk for hours about this odd shared family they're now to be a part of.
In fact, they talk straight through until morning.

As Lu heads to school, she's got Mommy Nicole on her mind.
And Mommy Nicole has daughter Lu on hers. Apparantly Mel is bugged about something. What could it be?
Oh yes, sharing a room with her "sister". The girls try to settle it with a good old fashioned noogy war.
However, Kris and Nicole have a better solution. They redecorate Kris' old room in the attic and move the girls in there.

Rest assured, the life time family bonds are still there for Kris and Lu...
... as with Nicole and Mel.

Binsk Moves to Cyberia! (Featuring Funky Cowboy)

Our Canadian friend Binsk has crossed the border and moved to Cyberia! She just enrolled as a freshman at Cyberia University!

She's assigned to a seasoned sophomore, and her mentor is none other than Funky Cowboy! They hit it off immediately, and are equally excited to find out they have a lot of common interests. For one, they're both enrolled in the Honors Arts course!

Although their interpretations are somewhat different...
... as are their subject matters.



For the first few weeks, it's all work and no play for Binsk. She burns the midnight oil working on her Freshman term paper.
"Enjoys" that good ol' college chow.
Studies.
And studies some more. As you can see, Binsk is majoring in Theater, while Funky is majoring in Psychology.
Funky eventually helps Binsk lighten up (literally) and take in the full college experience, like this wacky hookah thing.

And of course, no college party would be complete without a stirring rendition of The Heart Goes On.
Though Funky prefers a Girls, Girls, Girls solo now an again.