K-Fed Skates on Thin Ice

Having been kicked to the curb by Britney, K-Fed decides to move in with Tom and Katie (just to piss Britney off, since she had suspected Katie of calling Social Services and having her kids taken away). He assures them it's just temporary, until he can find another mega-star to impregnate.


Tom suggests LiLo. K-Fed is tempted, because that would *really* make Britney mad, but reconsiders.


"Nah... I'm not that much of a rat. Anyway, I need a woman who is more like me...who understands how I think. Who is into professional wrestling."


Tom makes a few calls, and after a dip in the hot tub K-Fed is introduced to none other than Tonya Harding. Former professional ice skater turned criminal turned pro wrestler.


K-Fed tries to wow Tonya with a graphic description of his er, fine qualitites.


Tonya is disgusted and tells him to keep it in his pants.


"Maybe a drink will loosen this chick up," he thinks.


Tom (still trying to squeeze into his Risky Business tighty-whities) and Katie (just back from an intense "clearing" at the Church) join them in a toast.


After K-Fed tries to paw her, Tonya lets him have it. "Look, buddy. Try that again and I'll have you knee-capped."


"Will I ever meet a woman who is truly worthy of me?" he muses. "I wonder what Anna Nicole is doing tonight..."